Mail Order Bride
by Radio Active Redhead
Summary: InuYasha is a rowdy cowboy whos father's ranch is currently being held by Myouga, his father's friend, until he stops his self-harmful ways. How will Myouga finish his task? Very carefully and...Well you'll hafta find out.
1. MOB1

.: Mail Order Bride:.

By: RAR

Disclaimer:

(prance) I don't own this movie title, nor do I own InuYasha. I just own the idea and if there's a new character in there, I probably own them too. I don't fully know the whole plot for the movie, so I have to kind of make it up as I go. Have fun. This is my first Wild West fan fiction. I'm in l-love. X3

---

* * *

He had to do this. 

That damn boy _has_ to settle down or else he'll probably go crazy with it, never get the ranch, and marry some sleaze-bucket and…

_God there is so many things that could go wrong._ Myouga thought sadly as he shook his head, walking to the nearest pub.

"Hey, you, old man how's it going? The'wild boy'business, I mean." A rough looking bartender by the name of Ginta howled out above the loud room. It immediately quieted upon hearing the 'tender talk. It was all over the town how this one single man would get their rowdiest youngster to become a gentleman.

Or something akin to that, they hoped.

Little old Myouga heaved a shudder and a sigh, "Not so good. If anything, all I've tried has made him get angrier and more rebellious. I can't do anything with him and his set mind. It's like trying to teach a horse not to run."

Ginta nodded sagely and poured him a glass of brandy. "It's on the house. But say, how are you going to tame that beast of a man?"

_I'm not so sure._ "I was thinkin' marriage." Myouga smiled tiredly. "You know, a nice strong headed female should help him."

"And how exactly are you supposed to get him to agree to such a scheme? You know he'll not agree."

"I'll tell him that it is the only way for him to get the ranch. That'll get him." Myouga's smile widened. "Yes! That **will** work!"

Ginta chuckled lowly and poured himself a drink, chugging it quickly. "Let's pray that that will work. I don't think I can afford anymore brawls in this poor saloon. The costs are getting higher and higher each time that boy comes into town. Him and his cronies are pure monsters. And that Kouga Ookami! He's a bad egg as well. I suggest you try to get him away from InuYasha as soon as you can old man."

Myouga cocked his head.

"I used to run with him and his crowd. My brother, Haggaku, still does. I tried to get him away from Kouga but that fool wouldn't listen." Ginta sighed and Myouga patted his arm solemnly. "But anyways, I have just the thing you need to get that damn boy calm and ready for the world. Here you go!"

In his hand was a magazine.

Myouga scoffed, "That's supposed to help me?"

"Why yes. Look it through."

Myouga chortled and read it aloud, _"Find the love of your life-Today! It's easy, it's fun, and it's free! Here's the latest in women ready for marriage to you!"_

Myouga sniggered but flitted through the names, descriptions, and addresses of the women, keeping tabs on the ones he thought looked good for InuYasha.

"You win, I'm interested… I'll look this through at home and thanks for the drink, Ginta!"

Ginta waved him off and sauntered to the end of the bar table, helping a new customer.

"Now let's see about this…" Myouga whispered to himself, walking to his horse, and scrambling on.

The horse nonchalantly used its nose to help its master up, snorting when he nearly toppled over from exhaustion. "Shush, you fool horse."

The horse gave a glare and whinnied, bucking the poor man off.

"AIEEEEEE!"

---

* * *

"Goddamn, Kouga!" InuYasha growled out, slamming his cards down onto the coffee table. "What the hell! I'm not giving you my cows to you and your cheating cards." 

"It was fair and square, Inu." Kouga smirked and scooped the cards into his hand, shuffling them with expertise. "But I'll be a friend and not take them."

InuYasha glared at him hard. "I hate you."

"The feeling is mutual." Kouga grinned and smacked Inu on the arm. "Let's go ride."

"That…would be nice." The handsome soon-to-be ranch owner replied, picking up his riding clothes and slipping them on. "I need to get my mind off of everything."

"Hey, Inu, what's going on with Mr. Myouga? You know, that whole, 'You can't get the ranch till you-blah blah blah." Stuff?"

"I don't know. He hasn't told me squat. I'll just have to wait and see what happens but until then, I'm basically under that old coot's control." InuYasha pouted, mounting his horse.

"Well, here's your chance to ask him." Kouga cackled and clucked his tongue, his spur digging lightly into the horse's flesh. In a flash, he was already half way down to the river, passing the (now dusty) Myouga.

"Brat! You pay your respects to your elders, you don't run them over!" Myouga cried out feebly.

InuYasha gently nudged his horse, trotting over, eyebrows raised at the old man. "What's up, Grandpa."

Myouga patted himself down and raised regal eyes to InuYasha. "I have news for you."

Inu groaned. "Nooo…"

"You're going to be getting married."

"NOOOOOO!"

---

* * *

"I'm off, InuYasha. You take care of my cows…" Myouga put on his scariest face. "Or you'll be sorry." 

InuYasha scoffed and threw the man his luggage, amused when he toppled over from the weight. "Whatever."

"I'll be back soon with your newbride, young man. You keep your wits about you and keep sober." Myouga muttered. "I don't want to save your hide anymore."

"Get out of here, you old goat, before I skin you myself!"

Myouga sighed sadly and walked into the train to find himself a seat. He plopped himself into the nearest one, a nicely worn down one, and pulled out his flask.

"I hope this will be a good trip." He tilted his head back and downed the flask's contents.

_Now._ He thought. _Let's see where this strange little adventure takes me._

The first suitor lived not but a few miles away in a busy little town.

'_Ms. Yura Kami'_

Myouga sighed and folded his paper neatly, shoving it violently in his pocket.

---

* * *

"Marry! He wants me to MARRY!" InuYasha howled out at the bar. Ginta listened, mildly interested (for he knew already of what was happening). "Can you believe that!? If he thinks I'm gonna go through with it then he has another thing coming!" 

"Yes, I understand, InuYasha. But, what's the harm of having a woman in the house? It isn't that bad. Believe me, if I could have a wife I would." Ginta smiled at him gently, if not a bit annoyed. "So just breathe. It'll be fine."

"I'm not getting married to some…old hag."

"Myouga would never do that to you. I believe he'll pick out a wonderful woman for you."

"Shut up."

"InuYasha, just give it a chance ok? If you want the ranch, you're going to have to go and settle down. No more of this 'Wild Westerner' business." Ginta frowned, eyebrows rising unsympathetically. "Got it?"

InuYasha growled and stood, making the table rock angrily. "Why don't you shut the hell up and stop trying to tell me what to do. I don't _care_ if you're trying to help me and my well being. I really. Don't. Care." He enunciated.

InuYasha stomped out of Ginta's saloon.

"Don't come back InuYasha!" Ginta called out jovially. "Have fun with your new wife!"

"Everyone!" Ginta looked about, "Drinks are on the house!"

The whole saloon cried out in happiness.

---

* * *

Myouga got to the front door of a sweet looking house. The trimmings were nice and tidy, the flowers were well kept and watered. 

The whole house was just darling.

"Hey there, sweetheart." A cool, seductive voice called to him from above. Myouga lifted his head and looked up, his eyes meeting a pair of high heeled shoes, then shapely legs cased in fishnet stockings, a pink and black corset, a large bosom, and a innocent (Heh heh...yeah right) face.

"Are you Ms. Yura Kami?" He called out uncertainly, a blush staining his cheeks.

"Why yes I am!" She smiled, "One moment. I'll be downstairs after I dress." She walked off with an exaggerated swing of her hips. "You stay right there, sweetie."

Myouga choked. He'd never been called a "Sweetie" before in his life. So this…was kind of uncomfortable.

The front door opened and a fully clothed (Thank _God_) Yura stepped out. "And what do I owe to this visit, Sir?" She leaned against the doorframe.

She didn't look like a good suitor for InuYasha...

"You don't look like you want to get married." Ms. Yura's eyebrows raised and she gave him a cold glare.

"What are you saying by that?"

_Eep!_ "Nothing ma'am."

"I believe you should go." She growled.

"I believe I should go too." Myouga quickly scampered off her porch and scurried down the road, heading towards the next suitor at an interestingly fast pace.

Back on the porch, Ms. Yura cocked her head. "Why does that always happen to me?"

---

* * *

InuYasha slipped to the other side of the saloon, walking up the stairs to a small door way. His knuckles rapped on the wood gently and he quieted, waiting for an answer. 

"Yes?" A soft voice called out, a click informed him she had unlocked the door. "Please come in."

"Ms. Kikyou?" He smiled and opened the door. Ms. Kikyou yawned and stretched on the bed, having just awoken from a nap. "How are you this fine morning?"

"I'm just perfect." She rolled over and propped herself up on her elbow, watching him with _sweet_(eew)brown eyes. "And yourself?"

"I'm…" InuYasha's eyes glazed over a little, his hands finding the lock on the door and flipping it closed. "Just fine."

He crawled on the bed with her and she let out a small giggle. "My, oh my, Mr. Inu, how happy you are to see me today!"

"Indeed." He purred out, his lips descending on hers roughly.

---

* * *

_Okay! Myouga, you can do this!_ Myouga cheered himself on as he reached the next house. 

He knocked, hoping another brothel woman wouldn't answer.

"Yes?" A small voice opened the door, an adorable redhead greeted him. "May I help you, sir?"

"Why yes!" He smiled cheerfully, "You can. I saw your add for marriage."

The woman looked him up and noticeably cringed.

Myouga laughed. "No not to me, darling. There's a boy back home who is interested in marrying you. May I ask your name?"

"My name is Ayame Sukina."

"Oh," Myouga lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. "Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Sukina."

"Oh no. The pleasure is all mine, sir! Please, do come inside." She ushered him in and set him down at the coffee table. Inside, it was filled with antiques and collectibles. "Would you like some tea?"

"Yes," Myouga looked around in horror. "That'd be nice."

_Well I can see this isn't going to work._

Ms. Sukina came back in, a tray in her hands. "So tell me about this boy."

"Well. He is very handsome and loves the country. I'm from Missouri." Myouga said. (A/N: A famous skeptic said, "I'm from Missouri." Once. That made me giggle when I wrote that. I'm not even sure if they're from Missouri but oh well.)

"Oh dear." Ms. Sukina said. "…Missouri… Does he go to church? Because I've gone to church every Sunday and Wednesday every time for 7 years and I pride myself on that very much so. I enjoy a man who has done that if not longer. And I enjoy collecting. I dislike being outside much and…"

"I'm sorry Ms. Sukina." _Damn it._

"You're sorry…?"

"Yes."

"Whatever for?"

"He loves to go outside, he has never been to church except for being baptized when he was born, he hates collecting and he's a rancher."

"Oh."

---

* * *

_Last stop…_ Myouga sighed and dragged himself into the saloon named, _Lady Kaede's Saloon._

The chairs were set upon the tables and the glasses were sparkling and clean on their respective shelves and holders. A "Closed" sign was perched upon the bartender's table.

"Hello there!" A soft voice called from up the stairs. "May I help you sir? If you wanted a drink, the saloon's closed for until seven."

"Oh no, I was looking for a lady." Myouga said contentedly.

"Really now." The lady, who looked around Myouga's age (around her 50's) came down the stairs, a smile on her beautifully aged face. "And may I ask who you were looking for?"

"A Ms. Kaede." He said, smiling back.

"I am her."

_Oh…shit._

"Let me guess," She started. "You saw my ad for marriage."

"Ah yes. I'm trying to find someone who'd be willing to marry my godson. He needs a woman in his life."

"And your godson is a youngling. Isn't he?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"For forever, I've wanted to get out of this damned saloon. Every once in a while, when I tire of this place, I send an ad to be put with the rest of the suitors, hoping one day someone will come and take me out of this place." She smiled melancholy. "I thought the day had come, but I suppose not."

Myouga looked at the floor sadly and said, "I'm very sorry, Ms. Kaede."

"It's no problem. But, I have someone who you ought to want to talk to about this marriage to." Ms. Kaede laid a hand on Myouga's shoulder and turned him to the stairs once more. "Ms. Kagome! Please, would you come out here for a moment? There is someone who I'd like you to meet."

Someone shuffled from behind a door and slowly it opened.

"Yes'm?" A charming looking girl peeked down; she seemed around the age of 17 and was dressed haphazardly in maid's cloths. "Hello, sir."

"Hello there!" Myouga replied, grinning from ear to ear.

---

* * *

"So let me get this straight…You want me to go off to Missouri and marry someone who I don't even know." Kagome asked perceptively, albeit angrily. 

"Oh but he'll be so happy! He's wanted a wife for so long. He really wants to settle down." Myouga nodded sagely. "You'll be very happy."

Kagome breathed deep, "It would help me. I suppose, it would help Shippou more. He needs a father figure in his life."

Myouga, on the inside, danced.

"We set off for Missouri tomorrow, then!" Myouga hugged Kagome (Kagome got a dirty look from Kaede) and thanked her repetitively.

"Missouri, indeed." Kagome growled, pushing away from the shabby old gentleman.

---

* * *

"A wife!" InuYasha roared at the poker table, his friends grinning at him, some even laughing. "You there! Shut your yap I'm not in the mood." 

"Oh, InuYasha." Kikyou whispered seductively. "You'll be fine. A wife isn't that horrible. We can still sneak around it, can't we? But if you were looking for a wife, why didn't you come to me?"

She pouted and it looked awfully like a challenged fish…

His friends giggled more. (More at her, ha-ha!)

"Kikyou…I would have, if old man Myouga hadn't just upped and ran. But I bet he'll come back with an old, ugly witch of a woman." InuYasha groaned and flopped an arm over his eyes.

"I'd love to have a wife! A beautiful woman waiting for me at home to cook me delightful meals full of love and-.."

"Shut up, Miroku! Sheesh." Kouga laughed and rested his arm on Miroku's shoulder. "I pray that one day you will find a woman."

Miroku gave him a look as if daring him to make a cocky remark.

"…one that won't run from your wandering hand!" Kouga and all his followers laughed uproariously at the joke while the ever-sanctimonious Miroku pouted in his chair.

InuYasha snorted back a laugh and curled his arm around Kikyou's hips, dragging her to him, his cheek nuzzling her stomach almost lovingly.

One thought buzzed through his mind.

_This **is** the life._

---

* * *

_The next day…_

"Now, darling, where is Shippou's father?" Myouga asked curiously.

"He…was an adventurer. He traveled and I followed him from town to town. He hated responsibilities and when Shippou was born, he couldn't take it. It was just too much for him. And he left us." Kagome's eyes grew cold, haunted. "A year later I found he had died. I'm not sure how, they wouldn't tell me. Someone just came up to me one day at Kaede's Saloon and asked me who I was and that was that."

"I'm so very sorry, my dear!" Myouga said downhearted.

"It's alright. I buried my feelings for that long ago. Please, don't be sorry." Kagome smiled. "I still have my little Shippou."

Myouga smiled and held an arm out to her. Kagome hooked her arm through his and they walked towards the train station. Kagome turned quickly and called out, "Shippou!"

"Coming, momma!" Came a little voice from a very small, redheaded boy. "I'm ready!"

Kagome held her hand down to her son and all three of them hopped aboard the train.

---

* * *

:.End Chapter One.:

**Authoress Notes:**

Kay, here is a new story for ya'll to chew on. Hope you like it. I love the movie this idea comes from. It's an oldies but goodie.

Please R&R!


	2. MOB2

.: Mail Order Bride:.

By: RAR

_Cold hard bitch_

_Just a kiss on the lips_

_And I was on my knees_

_I'm waiting, give me_

_Cold hard bitch_

_She was shakin' her hips_

_That's all that I need._

_-Jet, Cold Hard Bitch._

* * *

The train ride was uneventful and boring. Kagome drummed her fingers against the window, watching the scenery pass with mild interest. The occasional cow would go by and give a loud moo to the rumbling train. 

"Wahs goona ha'pan whe' we 'it ther? (What's going to happen when we get there?)" Kagome yawned out, her arm curling around her snoozing son who, in turn, snuggled closer to her warmth.

"Well, first of, you're going to go get married straight away." Myouga cringed and scooted from her.

"What…" Kagome whispered evilly. "I'm getting married straight away? I don't even get to meet my husband before the wedding?"

Myouga whimpered.

Kagome sighed. "I really don't think this is a good idea, Myouga-sir." Kagome wriggled, cuddling her son to her in a more comfortable position. "I mean, what if he bolts?"

"He won't."

"And you're so sure…because?" Kagome, by now, was almost laughing at Myouga's sureness of this whole catastrophic event. "I have a feeling this won't go according to plan."

_Me neither._ "I believe it will work out just fine, Ms. Kagome." Myouga smiled, hoping to hide his faltering emotions.

A lady came by with a pitcher of water and some bread cakes. "Would you like a snack before you get to your destination?" The overly cheerful waitress asked.

"Uh…" Kagome blinked. "Sure."

* * *

"So I says to him…" Kouga laughed and conversed gaily with his comrades. 

InuYasha watched, bored, and took a swig of his whiskey. "They'll be here today." InuYasha rested his forehead in the palm of his head, depressed. "God, I'm going to die."

"Oh shove it, Inu. It can't be that bad. Bah! What if she's a real beauty?" Miroku's eyes shone with adoration for the girl who wasn't there yet. "I envy you so much, my friend!"

"You shove it! You can have her for all I care. I don't want a bitch in my household."

"You mean your **storage shack**? You really need to build a nice house, Inu. You're gonna get cramped up in that little thing. What if you and your wife decide to have children?" Kouga laughed and chugged his brew skies. He wiggled his eyebrows after finishing his drink, "I wouldn't mind being an uncle."

InuYasha choked and stood immediately. "I'm going to head home and take a nice, well needed nap."

And with that, he turned to walk away…

…and fell flat on his face, drunk as a skunk.

* * *

"_Train approaching the port, please be ready to descend."_

The droning voice of the engineer said over the make-shift intercom.

"Myouga…" Yawned a sweet looking Shippou. "We're here already?"

"Yes, my child. Soon," He started out gallantly. "You'll see your new home and there will be kids a-plenty to play with! Oh you'll have so much fun! And you, Kagome!"

"Hush."

"But..!"

"Hush." Kagome said…a bit scarily.

So Myouga _hushed_, gathered her stuff and his then got ready to head off.

Myouga was a little worried though. InuYasha didn't _want_ a wife…but Kagome didn't need to know that till she was off the train…

"Come, my pretties!" Shippou grumbled about being called pretty and clambered into Kagome's arms. "Time to see your new ho-o-home!"

"Kagome…what if we don't like it there?" Big blue eyes looked up at her. _(A/N: They're blue in my fanfic…)_

"Well, sweetie, I'm not sure. We could go back and live with Lady Kaede, or we could just stay here and wing it!"

"Mm…okay." Shippou snuggled closer to his mother and hid his face from the brightness of the sun.

* * *

InuYasha looked into the water trough and frowned at the wood burn on his cheek. 

"That's it! I'm never getting drunk again!" He vowed.

Only to have his friends laugh at him from behind his back.

"Oh please! You couldn't give up drinkin' even if your life depended on it, boy!" Miroku howled.

"Shaddup."

"Ooh ooh! Here they come!" Miroku grinned. "The trains here! The trains here!"

"Shut the hell up, Miroku, if you know what's good fer ya."

* * *

The train's wheels screeched to a halt, stopping before the station. The train boy quickly got a stool and put it below the train's stairs and… 

Out stepped Myouga, grinning like a mad man.

Behind him, a petite lady around 5' 2" with beautiful long flowing black hair, the color of a raven's wing, followed.

"Oh, milady, let me help you out!" The overly obliging train boy said to Kagome who just smiled and held out a hand.

"Thank you. Myouga, sir! Now, where to?" She smiled radiantly (cough) and set poor frightened Shippou down.

"Just follow me, sweetheart."

"Whoa..." Miroku swooned. "She's a pretty little thing. Look at that hair! Ooh! I'd just love to-…ACK!"

"Shut up." Miroku rubbed his sore head, trying to soothe the bump on his temple. "Look at the child she has with her…"

"Damn!" Kouga smirked. "At least we know she's already maternal."

InuYasha growled lowly.

"Ooh InuYa-asha!" Myouga bellowed. "I'd like you to meet some one."

_Sweet Jesus…_

"This here is Kagome and that there is her son, Shippou!"

InuYasha stared off in the opposite direction.

Kagome glared. "What's your problem?"

"You."

"Ooh you piece of sh—"

InuYasha's friends howled. "Hey Inu, looks like you got yourself a spitfire there! Woo!"

Poor little Kagome blushed and cuddled Shippou to her bosom. "Myouga, would you kindly take us to the house…"

"Of course."

* * *

The ride to the house was long, boring, tedious, UN extravagant, smelly, idiotic, slow (because the horse was half dead)...and so forth. 

InuYasha was angrily steering the horse, Shippou was excitedly watching the scenery and Myouga was nearly boring her ear off.

"Is there anything I can get you to make your stay more comfortable?"

"Train ticket home?"

"Besides that…"

"A knife…or maybe a shotgun or maybe some poison. Either or works."

"Kagome…" Myouga sighed.

"Okay, okay you win." Kagome yawned and rested her chin on her hand, staring out at the landscape. "It's pretty here." She said as they neared a river. It was slow moving with crystal clear waters that showed the fish as they swam beneath it. Kagome watched with placid curiosity…

"Stop the wagon, InuYasha." Myouga ordered and slithered out of his seat as soon as the horse was pulled to a halt. "Pastor, are you ready to perform the ceremony?"

"Ceremony? What ceremony?"

"Your wedding ceremony of course!" Myouga chirped.

"ARR?" InuYasha howled. "No way! I refuse!" InuYasha glared at the pastor, "Beat off, old man…"

"InuYasha!" Kagome gasped. "Don't talk to a pastor like that!"

"You can beat off too, then!" An angry blush rose to his cheeks and he hopped off the wagon, walking home. "'Cuz I ain't doin' it."

* * *

The ride to the house was oddly quiet after the incident at the river. Poor Myouga was muttering about how bad of a guardian he was to the boy, Shippou was passed out from the action and Kagome was driving them home. 

_Up a hill_, Myouga said. Yeah… 'Hill' her ass! This was a mountain! But it did have a pretty nice view. She looked at the horse.

They were going to need a new horse if they were going to keep going up and down this mountain a lot…

"Poor horse… when we get home I'm going to give you some oats and a nice cold pail of water." The horse sniffled pathetically and trudged on, taking heed to its mistress's words.

They pulled into the front yard and Kagome unhooked the horse from the wagon and hooked it up to the post, feeding and watering it as she promised. Shippou, who had been asleep for the whole ride, awoke and stumbled onto the house's porch.

_More like a storage shack._ Kagome mused.

"What are _you_ doing here?" A brusque voice growled. "I thought you would have turned back by now."

"Hm." Kagome smiled and walked inside, InuYasha following.

"Sorry for the way I acted. I usually have better manners towards a lady but that damned Myouga just pushes the wrong buttons." He scratched behind an ear and that's when Kagome got a good look at him.

InuYasha was a sight to behold! Long silver-y hair fell limply across his shoulders and down his back. He wore snug fitting jeans that showed off his muscular legs and bottom A checkered shirt covered his top half, sleeves rolled up to reveal tan, well muscled arms.

Kagome nearly swooned at his broad shoulders that tapered off to a nicely trim waist.

"Woman, see something you like?" InuYasha grinned playfully.

_And that, ladies and gentleman._ Kagome said to herself. _Is why men should keep their mouths shut!_

"Of course I don't! I don't fancy overly muscular men." Kagome raised her nose snootily in the air and closed her eyes.

"So I suppose you enjoy the timid I'm-too-scrawny-to-hold-a-twig boys?"

"Indeed."

"Hmm…."

InuYasha and Kagome looked at eachother and burst into laughter.

"My name is Kagome Higurashi. And you are InuYasha."

"I'm InuYasha Taisho, to be exact."

"It's a pleasure." She bowed mockingly and grinned.

"Oh, milady, the pleasure is all mine!" He bowed back and extravagantly waved her inside.

"Why thank you, kind sir."

* * *

:.End Chapter Two.:

**Authoress Notes:**

There you go, the second chapter. Thanks for the reviews.

I know this one is a bit shorter but I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow (its March 13, 2005)

Goin up north for SNOWMACHINGIN!

Lata, love ya all.

Please R&R!


	3. MOB3

♥.: Mail Order Bride:. ♥

♥

By: RAR

Before I start this story, I'd like to give my first flamer some pointers…

_Kitty Rishire_!

Dear _Kitty_,

My story comes from a movie. The movie has a plot. And, if you wanted to give me a good flame…Please. Spell. Correctly. OH! Don't forget grammar! Grammar is always nice. By the way, sweetheart, anonymous flames just prove to me that you're to wimp to tell me things face to face. To me, your flame tells me about as much information as a sack of dog shit. I believe a good flame consists of subjects that the writer needs to improve on like…"Hey, I think your story needs more description." Or. "Your story would seem better if it had (This) and (That)" But sometimes, if the person just doesn't like the story when he or she starts reading it…

They shouldn't read it at all! Don't you other readers agree?

'Weastern'…ha-ha!

C u l8er cowgirl. )

Now, on with the story, people!

* * *

0

* * *

Kagome looked about the home.

_Quaint…_She thought._ It's adorable but if I'm going to live here I'm going to have to have him build a larger…home._

"Here's our bed (Bunk bed...) you get the bottom and I get the top bunk. I hope that's okay with you." InuYasha quirked a brow and stripped off his shoes, socks, hat and handkerchief. "Shippou is sleeping out in the barn and Myouga sleeps there too. There's a wash area out back and a stream farther back in the woods. If you need anything from town, just ask me."

Kagome blinked, over loaded with information.

"Erm… yes, okay."

"Mmm…" InuYasha settled down into the bed, not even worrying about his dirtied clothes.

"InuYasha…"

"Hmm?"

"Where can I change clothes?" Kagome looked up at him. He looked down at her. He blinked. She blinked.

"…Outside, perhaps?"

"Oh! Oh yeah… right…" And outside she went.

* * *

It was extremely early, around 1 in the morning if she was correct.

Kagome snuggled into her blankets till only her eyes were visible. Above her, InuYasha snored magnificently, nearly blowing the house down with the force of his snorts.

_Ah. Men. _Kagome giggled to herself, trying to make herself fall asleep.

Then suddenly, the door to the 'shack' opened, it creaked as the hinges moved, allowing it to swing full. InuYasha let out a horrifying pig-like snort and rolled over. Slowly, Kagome peeked out from under the shelter of her blankets, coming face to snout with…

…An abnormally huge dog. She did what any other woman in her right mind would do.

She screamed.

"KYAAAAAAAA!"

"Holy shi—Argh…Frankie! You came back!"

* * *

"Aww Frankieee…..you poor puppy dog. Where have you been?" Inu fawned over the dog and the beastly thing answered him with woofs and whimpers of delight.

"Sweet Jesus, InuYasha, your monster nearly gave me a heart attack and I'm not even thirty!"

"Hey. If you don't mind me asking, that is. How old are you exactly?" InuYasha got fwapped with a book.

"It's not polite to ask a lady…"

"Where's a lady?" InuYasha said mockingly and peered around, only to get hit again with the book. "Ow! Damn…"

"I'm twenty-two, thank you very much!"

"And I'm twenty-five, and you're very welcome."

Kagome grinned and put her hair in a messy bun atop her head haphazardly. "So…what is the story behind this big brute?"

"Got 'im when I was eighteen, he had run away about…a month ago. Someone's been feedin' him well, though. See? You can't see his ribs so he's pretty beefy." InuYasha enunciated his statement with a solid pat on the dog's belly. "You should be getting some rest though. It's early in the morning. You ladies are fragile little things. (Kagome scoffed and slipped into bed.) I mean, you could just keel over from exhaustion!"

"I'm not a hot-house flower, InuYasha."

"Could've fooled me."

* * *

Kagome awoke to the delicious smell of fried bacon, the sound of swallows chirping outside her window, the screams of delight coming from Shippou playing with Frankie the Beast…

"Wake up, Kagome Higurashi…" A brazen voice called out. "Breakfast is ready…"

"Mngg…toast…sc-mbled –ggs…co-fee…" She mumbled and rolled onto her belly. "Food."

"Really? I didn't realize." InuYasha tugged the blankets off of her, making her curl up in her long nightgown. "Get up. We have work to do today."

"No…" She moaned and crawled out of bed, seating herself at the table with little to no interest. "I hate you."

"Aw. Don't say things you don't mean."

"Stuff it." Kagome raked her fingers through her rat nest-y hair. "It's too early to be badgered."

"Someone's cranky."

"I-nu-Ya-sha." She growled.

"Alright, alright I'm done."

"So what's happening today?" Kagome asked before stuffing her face full of the delicious mouth watering, salty bacon and nicely peppered and salted eggs.

"Remodeling."

"Oh? What?" She swirled her toast in the egg yolk, sopping it up with the toast as if it were a sponge. "Remodeling what?"

"Everything. From the house to the trough, everything is being re-made."

"Well isn't that invigorating?" Kagome calmly sipped her coffee, watching InuYasha as he cleaned the dishes. _(A/N: If only guys could do that now-a-days…)_ "Has Shippou eaten?"

"'Bout an hour ago." Kagome nodded and finished, grabbing her clothes and carefully shoving InuYasha out of the house.

"Move, I need to dress."

* * *

"You didn't even thank me for your breakfast." InuYasha sniffed. "It's not every day I do that for someone."

"Well thank you very much, InuYasha Taisho. Your breakfast was delicious and well made and beautiful." Kagome grinned and sawed the rest of the wood. "So … we're building a new house?"

"That little shack can become a guest house. I need a new house anyways."

"Indeed. I don't think I'd have been able to live in that chicken roost for as long as you have."

"Bah! Women…"

* * *

"So…" Kouga started out. "Where is our little InuYasha?"

Miroku shrugged along with the rest of the group.

"Kikyou!" Kouga snapped.

"He's probably with his new wench." Kikyou replied, peevishly.

"I bet she's a real beaut—GAH!" Miroku coughed and rubbed his neck from where Kikyou hit him. "Damn, woman! You have a nasty right hook…"

* * *

A few weeks passed and it wasn't long till Myouga pushed InuYasha and Kagome into marrying. InuYasha, of course, wasn't pleased at all. All throughout the ceremony, Inu stood near the barn, watching Kagome get whisked from one man to another, dancing like a cherry petal on water. Her white gown flared around her as Kouga twirled her about and her laughter trickled throughout the throng of the crowd.

"You put together such a lovely wedding, InuYasha!" A woman from town congratulated him. "And what a beautiful bride! Look at her shining and happy face. You'll make a great father!"

"Whoa… Slow down there. Children? Me?" InuYasha spluttered. "This wedding wasn't even my id—"

"Now, InuYasha, let's go get you a dance with your new wife before she gets too pooped!" Myouga cut him off before he could finish the last word. As soon as he got him into a safe place he gripped InuYasha's forelocks. "You keep your mouth shut, ya hear? I don't want you hurting poor Kagome."

"It's your fault! If you hadn't been so insistent about me getting a bloody wife and whatnot then this wouldn't have ever happened!" InuYasha growled. "Kagome is a sweet woman. She's not as bad as others but I already have a woman. Don't you remember old man?"

"InuYasha…Ms. Kikyou wouldn't have been a good wife for you. You know what her last job was right? She worked on the corners for Christ's sake!"

"I don't care! I love--." InuYasha choked on her name as Kagome came into view.

"Hey you two, why are you both so far away from the party?" She smiled and patted down her dress, her eyes watching InuYasha carefully.

_Something is bothering him…_

"Oh! Darling-Kagome! I'm so happy for you. If you need anything, just ride down to the country store! I'll give you discounts!" Rambled a random lady. Kagome just smiled and nodded.

InuYasha watched Kagome ardently. "Kagome…Would you come with me?"

"Sure thing, Inu." Kagome chirped, following InuYasha as he walked down the trail to the river. "Umm…InuYasha?"

"Yeah?"

"Something has been bothering you, hasn't it?" Kagome slipped off her shoes and followed him. "Damn high heels hurt…"

"Heh. Yeah, that's what I want to talk to you about." InuYasha sat down. "You see... Ah! This is hard to say. Well, you see, I didn't ever want a wife. But it's the only way for me to get this whole ranch. This whole place, it belonged to my father and in his will, he said that Myouga would hold onto it until he thought I was ready."

"I…see."

"No! No…Shit. I mean, I can take care of you _and_ Shippou. You guys can live here if you want or you can live somewhere else. Either way, I'll take care of you. But only if I have the ranch…That's the only catch."

"Oh." Kagome peered into the rivers clear depths, watching the fish swim by. "I suppose that would work."

"I can make it work for us." InuYasha said solemnly. "I promise."

* * *

"Oh dear… Oh dear… Where are InuYasha and Kagome?"

"They're probably off you-know-what-ing." Miroku howled.

"Oh shut yer yap. You know they wouldn't do _that_…that fast!" Myouga blushed and swatted Miroku with a hickory stick.

"Yeowch!"

"That'll learn ya…"

* * *

_Today. _Kagome thought. _Today is the day we start building a new house_.

"Kagome Higurashi! You get your scrawny ass down here and stop lollygagging!"

"I resent that comment."

"Good for you. Now, start handing me those boards---! OUCH! God damn it…" InuYasha rubbed a sore spot on his head from the said board, all the while glaring at the fiery beauty before him. "You're such a wret-"

"Finish that comment and I'll make sure you wont be able to 'have fun' for a long time." Kagome sneered. "If you know what I mean."

"Keh…" InuYasha turned his back to her quickly so she couldn't see the look of fear upon his face.

* * *

Things went along awkwardly for the 'couple' if you could even call them that. The house was nearly built, even though right now it only looked like an outer shell of a home.

Shippou and Myouga watched as the newly weds argued back and forth over some odd thing…

"They act like an old married couple, bickering like that…" Shippou stared.

Myouga only nodded, to afraid to speak if they should turn their attentions on them.

"…and stop acting like such a jerk to me, InuYasha! All I do for you and the best you can do is manage a crummy thank you?"

"All **YOU **do for **ME?** Please, woman. You have it backwards! I'm the one who cooks breakfast for you and I'm the one whose building the house and I'm the one who…who…"

"Who yells at me while I _get_ the eggs for our breakfast, who _helps_ you build the house, who sews your shirts when you tear them, who makes your night time tea because you're too lazy. Don't you try to turn things back on me, InuYasha, I have you cornered on this one." Kagome snorted and glared at him heartedly.

_I'll show you cornered, woman…_ InuYasha growled to himself as he placed his hands on her shoulders, pushing her to the other side of the barn away from prying eyes.

"Well," Myouga said. "That was interesting…How about we go head inside the house for a nice cup of cold tea?"

"Uh…"

* * *

"InuYasha just what do you think you're doing?" Kagome squealed. "Myouga probably thinks we're off doing who knows what! I mean…erg…"

"I can't believe you! Making me seem like some sort of fool…"

"What?" Kagome spluttered. "You can't believe _me?_ I can't believe you! And why should you care? It's only Shippou and Myouga." _And here I thought he was going to romance me a little and…_

"Woman…"

"Excuse me. I believe my name is Kagome. Not 'woman' you degrading son of a—"

And right then and there was when Kagome got her wish.

InuYasha's lips angrily pressed against hers, smothering the insult she was about to give him. _It's been so long since I've felt the skin of a woman…_ He growled against her mouth, nibbling at the softness.

'_Come on, Kagome, respond…' _He thought, his hand smoothing down the side of her dress, trying to urge _some_ sort of reaction from her shocked form. The said hand curled around her clothed thigh curling it against his hip, her hands wrapping around his neck as she pulled him closer.

'_Mm…Who knew kisses could feel so good…oh! What's his hand doing?' _Kagome shivered and arced to him, her body betraying and then stilling. _'No no…wrong so wrong! Gotta stop.'_

"Inumsha—" Kagome mumbled against him, trying to break the heated moment.

"InuYasha…?" He obviously wasn't listening; his hands were too busy trying to unclasp her dress.

"InuYasha!" She screeched, swatting him upside the head. "Stop it! Stop it right now!"

He blinked up at her as if looking at her for the first time. "Who…?"

"What do you think you're doing? You…you…_male!_" And off went a flustered Kagome, away from the barn side and down to the creek.

Behind, left in the dust, stood a bemused InuYasha, lusting and alone.

"…Kagome?" He whined and tottered after her.

* * *

"Stupid InuYasha…was doing something like that. Doesn't he know how dangerous that is? I mean grr!" Kagome muttered angrily. "But it did feel oh so very—"

'_Kagome…stop being and idiot.' _She told herself. _'He probably wasn't thinking of you anyways. Damn men. I hate men. I'm going to become a nun.'_

A sound startled her and she whipped around, eyes locking on his goldenness.

'_And, oh, what a bad nun I'll be…' _Kagome smiled ironically.

"Uhm…"

"Yeah…"

"InuYasha?"

"Yeah?"

"We did something not good, didn't we?"

"Not…necessarily. We are married." InuYasha replied softly, setting himself down next to her. "I'm sorry I did that though…At least I think I'm sorry."

Kagome giggled. "You think? Sure it was surprising but hey! It wasn't that bad…"

"Oh really now?"

"Yes, but you didn't hear that from me." Kagome smiled and winked conspiratorially.

"Indeed."

* * *

Hey all, RAR here.

Hope you guys liked this chapter. Yeah, I know things are a bit rushed. Didn't mean for it to come out that way but Imma bit lazy. I dun wanna fix it P

Please excuse the review response at the top. It just made me angry that my first flame wasn't even a good one. X(

Thanks to all that reviewed though! It makes me happy.

I looked and checked in my "who's watching me thing" or whatever and I'm surprised to see how many of you put me on author alert and favourites and whatnot.

It makes me SUPER HAPPY! D

Thank you and I'll talk with ya'll next time.

(Oh and excuse the hearts. I found them and kinda went mad with them, putting them everywhere. ) )

♥R&R♥


	4. AUTHOR NOTE

Hey guys!

I've moved to DOKUGA .COM (Remove space)

Under the penname RadioActiveOrange

All my stories on this site will stay here but they are not active. On permanent Hiatus if you will.

This website is all Sess/Kag so for those of my fans who love Nar/Kag I'll probably be finding a different site to post it on. Because, my obsession for Nar/Kag fails to leave me.

But, I have 4 new ses/kag pairing fanfics on Dokuga.

Come visit me!


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